So brilliant are the last days of school. Just a few days left and already so ready to be done. One semester to go before I finish a piece of my education, then off to God knows where. No body knows.

People are pleasantly strange there in the Downtown campus, glad to have made the change when I did. It has made it faster in the long run. But, not everything is completely perfect. As if it ever is. Someday I'll post all my sketches from this past semester. There are a few, not much in the means of finished work but still some is better than nothing for an art major I suppose.

But there is nothing like counting the change out of the sofa cushions to pay off a tuition bill. Something about that seems ironic. You spend all of high school on the couch and in college you're overturning it to get at the change inside. What can you do, I suppose?

It's just the way the world works.

I HAVE PS3. This is AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT.

BUT. I'm plotting the death of art.

I do the things I hate, and can't do the things I know I should.

Why does it feel like Ripping your head apart to try and do the right thing all the time. I know what's happened
I know how I ought to feel, I know I want to change it right now and just get better so I dont hurt anybody anymore. I don't want to take anything out on anybody, I'm tired of being bipolar and always on edge. I've hurt enough people in this change. Why can't I just relax and go back to being me. Why do I feel like the slightest thing can make me want to throw someone to the floor and yell and scream. It's just not that huge a deal right? I feel like a bipolar child. Happy and ready to play with anyone at any given moment, and ready to throw a tantrum the next. I don't want to... It's wrong. I'm not an angry person. I'm usually so calm. Nobody has done anything wrong. But I can't seem to express that to the people I care about the most.

Yes, it's all a bunch of water under the bridge now. But what about tomorrow, what about next week. Maybe I'm just...words. I think that's the best way to say it. Words. I know I've made people mad. I'm sorry. I don't want to be a bone of contention anymore. I can't make myself press past the hurt. I'm just too weak to. I'll get there at some point, but most likely not today; not tomorrow.

To those of you who don't me well yet, sorry to say, I probably won't be the same person in a few months. It's just a matter of coming back to myself again. Apparently I've not been myself in a long time.

I'll apologize before hand. Even those of us with really stable positions and raising have issues. I'm sure you all understand. This is just a musing, a deep one.

OK seriously, how long has it been since I uploaded here.

Waaaay too long. SO! New/old stuff up in the next few days.

I'm planning a Dio cosplay with a bunch of folks who are amazing. (Two of them are famous). You should go see them.


SO i command! Go see them go give them love and support, God knows we all need it right now.
In other news there is alot going on in the art world these days and it's quite exciting. I'm almost done with half my degree, so only another...two years for school? That's just depressing!But worth it I suppose, Yes? Anyhoo, as that stands it looks like i'll be able to double major after all. ^ ^

I'm also in the process of putting together a booth to sell work at. If anybody has ideas I'm open to them ne!